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You’re a naughty, naughty girl indeed.
While everyone else spent the winter working on New Year’s resolutions, you didn’t so much as lift a finger — except to nibble champagne truffles.
Consequently, your generous curves have taken the corner at Ample Road and are careening straight down Fat Street.
Given up on being trim by spring? Let Lace Embrace Atelier whittle away that waist of yours. The Vancouver firm constructs custom corsets fit to your precise measurements. Or choose from one of their Victorian or Edwardian ready-to-wear styles. All promise to nip in your midriff and deliver excess flesh exactly where it belongs: spilling over your bodice cups.
With minimal effort you’ll be resplendent in silk, while all your pals are still sweating it out in Lycra.
Suckers.
Available online at laceembrace.com.